jackpotology101
Well-known member
- Joined
- Aug 1, 2013
- Messages
- 47
Jackpot here. Been posting for a bit and feel strongly that someone will benefit from my dumbassery.
HOW (NOT) TO WRAP YOUR PIPES
Step 1: Research BuellXB forums for best pipe wrap and best way to wrap said pipes. I read on several posts: "wear long sleeves and pants, fibers will get everywhere". I ignore said posts. I am too cool for sleeves.
Step 2: Buy DEI titanium pipe wrap and SS locking ties (the titanium wrap is a dark goldish color that has a carbon fiber effect to it; also does not need to be wrapped wet). Pipe wrap comes in mail. Girlfriend is confused. I am too cool for her.
Step 3: Re-read said posts on wrapping pipes. Suggestions like "wear gloves" and "measure out the lengths first" and "for the love of Christ do not wear shorts" are ignored like the fat girl at prom. Logic does not enter this dojo.
Step 4: I am too lazy to change out of my gym clothes. I am wearing a tank top and running shorts. I tear into the pipe wrap and start wrapping. LOL I have no idea WTF I am doing.
Step 5: I start on the rear header but I cannot figure out the SS locking ties. They seem to have been forged in the bowels of Hell. I try to tighten using pliers. Pliers slip and find a home in the side of my hand. I hate everything.
Step 6: I have managed to stop the bleeding and continue wrapping. I have not measured or cut the wrap prior to wrapping. I quickly realize this will not turn out well. I wrap about 6 inches down the pipe and notice that the rest of the wrap has turned into a tangled rats nest around the front header. I decide to cut the wrap.
Step 7: I guestimate about 15 feet is needed for the rear header and I make the cut. Little fibers begin to fall from the wrap. I ignore this. I wrap to the point where the two pipes meet with about 3 feet leftover. Success!
Step 8: I am starting to itch. Everywhere.
Step 9: I start on the front header. The SS lock tie is about as cooperative as a drunk co-ed. The tedium of wrapping is offset only by the sheer rage I feel from having to itch my legs every 6 seconds. I wrap for what seems like forever until I finally reach the collector. Almost there! I wipe the sweat from my eyes. I immediately realize I have made a grievous error.
Step 10: I am blind. The excruciating pain of titanium slivers in my corneas causes me to run blindly around my garage. I manage to stumble up to my apartment and stick my head under running water for 5 minutes. I will never see again.
Step 11: It's a miracle! I can see again.
Step 12: I am determined to finish this terrible horrible no good very bad project. I throw the final SS tie on the bottom and bolt everything back on. My hand hurts, my eyes are swollen, and I've itched off three layers of skin on my arms and legs. My bike looks good. I do not feel cool.
Things I learned:
1) Wear long sleeves and pants, regardless of fiberglass vs. titanium wrap.
2) Wear gloves.
3) Measure out lengths of wrap and cut before wrapping.
4) DO NOT TOUCH EYES WHILE WRAPPING.
5) DO NOT TOUCH EYES WHILE WRAPPING.
6) Always trust the BuellXB forums.
Jackpot out. Ride smart kids.
HOW (NOT) TO WRAP YOUR PIPES
Step 1: Research BuellXB forums for best pipe wrap and best way to wrap said pipes. I read on several posts: "wear long sleeves and pants, fibers will get everywhere". I ignore said posts. I am too cool for sleeves.
Step 2: Buy DEI titanium pipe wrap and SS locking ties (the titanium wrap is a dark goldish color that has a carbon fiber effect to it; also does not need to be wrapped wet). Pipe wrap comes in mail. Girlfriend is confused. I am too cool for her.
Step 3: Re-read said posts on wrapping pipes. Suggestions like "wear gloves" and "measure out the lengths first" and "for the love of Christ do not wear shorts" are ignored like the fat girl at prom. Logic does not enter this dojo.
Step 4: I am too lazy to change out of my gym clothes. I am wearing a tank top and running shorts. I tear into the pipe wrap and start wrapping. LOL I have no idea WTF I am doing.
Step 5: I start on the rear header but I cannot figure out the SS locking ties. They seem to have been forged in the bowels of Hell. I try to tighten using pliers. Pliers slip and find a home in the side of my hand. I hate everything.
Step 6: I have managed to stop the bleeding and continue wrapping. I have not measured or cut the wrap prior to wrapping. I quickly realize this will not turn out well. I wrap about 6 inches down the pipe and notice that the rest of the wrap has turned into a tangled rats nest around the front header. I decide to cut the wrap.
Step 7: I guestimate about 15 feet is needed for the rear header and I make the cut. Little fibers begin to fall from the wrap. I ignore this. I wrap to the point where the two pipes meet with about 3 feet leftover. Success!
Step 8: I am starting to itch. Everywhere.
Step 9: I start on the front header. The SS lock tie is about as cooperative as a drunk co-ed. The tedium of wrapping is offset only by the sheer rage I feel from having to itch my legs every 6 seconds. I wrap for what seems like forever until I finally reach the collector. Almost there! I wipe the sweat from my eyes. I immediately realize I have made a grievous error.
Step 10: I am blind. The excruciating pain of titanium slivers in my corneas causes me to run blindly around my garage. I manage to stumble up to my apartment and stick my head under running water for 5 minutes. I will never see again.
Step 11: It's a miracle! I can see again.
Step 12: I am determined to finish this terrible horrible no good very bad project. I throw the final SS tie on the bottom and bolt everything back on. My hand hurts, my eyes are swollen, and I've itched off three layers of skin on my arms and legs. My bike looks good. I do not feel cool.
Things I learned:
1) Wear long sleeves and pants, regardless of fiberglass vs. titanium wrap.
2) Wear gloves.
3) Measure out lengths of wrap and cut before wrapping.
4) DO NOT TOUCH EYES WHILE WRAPPING.
5) DO NOT TOUCH EYES WHILE WRAPPING.
6) Always trust the BuellXB forums.
Jackpot out. Ride smart kids.
... thanks for playing Buellxb.com wealth of knowledge
