Hey angel,
What you say about lean is true - to a point. Before you get to the extreme lean condition you are referring to, which puts a hole in your piston within 10 minutes, there is a continuum of lean conditions which cause the engine to run increasingly hotter than desirable, or optimum. The excessive heat produced by these conditions will damage an engine by causing accelerated oil breakdown and wear to valves, valve seats & guides, piston rings and cylinder walls, not to mention bearings.
A little bluing of the header pipes is normal, maybe a couple of inches down from the port. Bluing almost all the way to the collector is not normal and indicates way too much heat content in the exhaust gases.
A lean condition like this can be caused by an ECM that is not tuned to the breathing characteristics of that particular engine, and/or it can be caused by intake leaks.
Jessica is right to be concerned about the excessive heat her bike is producing and should check all the things already mentioned as well as check for intake leaks from leaky gaskets or a vacuum port which got uncapped by mistake or accident. The EBR ECM is a good idea anyway, but may not be the complete solution if there are intake leaks.
An air/fuel ratio of 14.7 is optimum, a very little richer for optimum power under racing conditions, but never leaner than stock - which is already too lean IMO.
That is a beautiful bike Jessica and well worth a little time and money to get it running right. Once you do it will be a fun and reliable ride.
Good luck