excuses

[Restlessrustler]

I am a manager of about 30 guys all races and pay grades, i have heard them all but would like to start a post about the best "day off" excuses...
ill go first....
I need memorial day off for a doctors appointment, i have too much blood and he has to fix it. I told him ( i work at a golf course) really, because i saw your doctor on number 1 tee earlier! lol....he hasnt taken a day off since.

 

[anrkizm95]

i usally keep it simple with a text, "sick not coming in"

 

[sparky300]

"I won't be in today" has always worked for me

 

[Theycallmecrash]

"Goin to motogp, gonna be gone 5 days."

Excuses are stupid. Be a big boy plan ahead, request the time off.

Its basically a lie, i grew up around liars and watched the outcome of the events, even tried it a few times myself as a kid, ended in an ass whooping. Its my policy not to lie, and except the outcome. This policy applies to "excuses" as well.

 

[thrstrmech]

excuses are like arse holes, everyone has one

 

[wifarmboy]

And they all stink....ya same here i manage like 10 guys, the best one was the dentist last minute the next day i asked what he had to get done to his teeth he then looked at me with this dumbfounded look, asked me what i was talking about. reminded of his excuse then tells me he had a root canal. with an even stupider look. dumb

 

[spokesniffer]

A little off topic but I asked a guy how he thinks he would do with a drug screening? He says doubtfully, "pretty good I think"?

 

[greasyxb9s]

I'm a supervisor in a welding/fab shop me I have about 20 guys.... Little more then half are good but the few are horrible I have one guy who insists on not scheduling off for doctors appointments he just calls off then brings a note in which there is nothing I can do about it..... The policy is bring a note for call off.... We have points if your late 1 minute you get a 1/4 point up to 15 minutes if you are over 15 minutes you get a 1/2 point if you call off and don't bring a note you get a whole point.... If you accumulate 4 points in 90 day period you get fired....... It's pretty cut and dry....

I can't even hand paychecks out on Thursdays now cause a few will knock off Friday

The best excuses yet was he came into work was there for maybe 40 minutes and he comes up to me and says some one is robbing my house I need to go see what's going on.... I said how do you know that.... He said my girlfriend texted me.... I said ok why can't she deal with it.... He said she's a women so I said ok have her call the cops..... He looks at me like an idiot an says ok? So can I go? I was like sure you can go but I'm writing you up for having your cell phone in the shop floor and leaving early unexcused cause I know your lying..... He left came back the following day and hasn't called off since......

 

[Negative]

These are hilarious!...

 

[mtnmason]

He said my girlfriend texted me.... I said ok why can't she deal with it.... He said she's a women so I said ok have her call the cops..... He looks at me like an idiot an says ok? So can I go?

I would want concrete evidence. If one of my 150+ employees' house was getting robbed and his gf was the only one protecting the fort - I would deem myself a total asshole for not allowing him to see that his gf was ok and to secure his property.

 

[greasyxb9s]

I under stand what your saying but I have been having a problem with this guy for weeks being I his phone all the time so we made it no phones on shop floor during your shift period so .....

#1 why did he have his phone

#2 why is she texting him they are being robbed and not callin 911 like she has time to tell him that's a half hour away at work and not the police that could be there in a few minutes?

When I was a regular employee I hated my boss and I always said to myself if I ever was the boss I'd try to be the nicest guy ever cause I know how it is..... Boy was I ever in for a shocker....

You be a nice boss and you know what happens..... You get used and shit on then that makes you look bad to your boss.... Guys take constant unscheduled breaks on their phones out smoking all the time always want off work I got tired of it and almost lost my position.... So I had to crack down and be that asshole boss.... It ruined friend ship of one of my friends cause I didn't see it but I was favoritising him over others and once I realized that he hates me now..... Guess I found out work as friends don't mix.....

I found constructive critisism goes a long way with a atta boy or a pat on the back or good job.... It seems to sink in a lot more.... But you always have those guys who will try and get away with anything and ruin it for everyone.

 

[toolmaker98]

I was not this guys boss. But a fellow employee called in with the excuse that he was up to late playing on the Internet and he wouldnt be coming in that day.

 

[Negative]

Really lame but excuse... But At least he's honest lol....

 

[cb750]

Stayed out all night partying with a coworker one time, got back to his house and had about 15 minutes before we had to leave to go to work. A short nap turned into about an hour or so. He called in and told them we had been kidnapped by a band of midget gypsies... It was obviously bullshit but no one questioned as to why we were late.

 

[Restlessrustler]

got a new one today. I cant work because my knee is jacked up since i was driving a limo for 8hr last night. his actual travel time was 30 mins with an 4 hr break then 30 mins...then 12 hrs till our work the next day. he left early to go to the second job......

 

[rah7777777]

This is one I used years ago at a dealership...
Run up to my boss.. "shit I gotta go, wife called and said my fish tank is leaking and keeps making a cracking noise"
I didn't even have a fish tank at the time

Later in life, the best one I've gotten myself is very sore back from working out way too hard the night before...
(which I personally called BS on)

 

[greasyxb9s]

Well since this thread is back I got a real whopper this week and it's actually fucking sick this guy did this cause we are sorta friends outside of work.....

Comes to me last Friday and says his grandfather just went into the hospital and it's not looking good can I go home.... Sure no problem I'll take care of it just go....

Now not thinking I just have paychecks out about a half hour before this.... I know I know that's wrong to think that..... But we have been having a problem lately we used to give checks out on Thursdays and guys were knocking off Fridays.....

Any ways Monday comes around and says his grandfather didn't make it ok I'm sorry to hear that let me know of you need anything......

Tuesday goes by Wednesday goes by and Thursday morning I'm thinking man if he died Saturday morning the funeral should have been yesterday day or today and he stil hasn't said anything yet.... Ok maybe there is something going on nah I'm just paranoid. So the whole day goes by and at 400 pm before we leave at 430 he comes to me and says oh by the way my grand fathers funeral is tomorrow (Friday) can I leave at 2.... Ok sure no problem....

So I go home and mow grass and finish up around 8 and sitting in the garage admiring the lawn and my buell and the wife comes out and says hey did you see what so and so's girlfriend just posted on Facebook? I said no why she says you better read it.....

Facebook status says and I qoute "all packed for the mountains can't wait leaving as soon as my boyfriend gets home from work and we are north bound to rip up some quads......

She comments on the post and says what about the funeral..... Bam instant message 5 seconds later from her what funeral? My wife says (the guy I works for me) grandfathers funeral..... 2 minutes go by and she says oh slipped my mind been a busy week.....

Busted..... For caught with his hand in the cookie jar..... Didn't even try and hide it he showed up to work the next day with a quad in the back of his truck and packed full of gear......

What kind of person does something like that......

 

[djs2k2]

Hate to say this but maybe he didn't like his grandfather and it was all true. So he decided to get time off to his advantage. Either his grandfather was a horrible person or he is a horrible person.[mad]

 

[cb750]

Shoulda looked in the paper for the obituary.

 

[chevy42083]

Not everyone posts obituarys, especially these days.

I had a coworkercall in, "I'm still drunk, not gonna make it in today. Should be in tomorrow though"
He was an alcoholic, and often wreaked of it after his walk into work. Can't imagine how bad it would've been if "his drink" wasn't peppermint schnapps.