If your old relay was working with normal lamps, use it again by modifying it slightly. Take your old relay, open it, solder the shunt resistor out. Get a 6 amp diode (the biggest diode that doesn't require extra cooling) and a 150 ohm resistor(0.5W) from a electronics store. Solder parallel into the place were the shunt resistor was. Check with an universal voltage meter in what direction the diode needs to be in(conducting from the connector into the circuit). The Shunt resistor is the black finned resistor. This resistor is used to generate a small voltage drop (if the relay is loaded with a total of 20W bulbs). This voltage drop is sensed by the small IC. If the voltage drop is too low (broken bulb) the relay starts to flash rapidly. With this modification the relay will flash normal regardless of the electrical load.
Good luck with soldering (or ask a friend)