chuck noris!!! (dumb joke's)

[xtremelow]

Chuck Norris broke the Da Vinci Code.

Chuck Norris once roudhoused kicked Hulk in the face. Now he hides in the forest and changed his name to Shrek.

Chuck Norris can speak braille letters.

Chuck Norris' sheep are where steel wool comes from.

Chuck Norris can kill a living room.

Chuck Norris rubs two pieces of fire together to make wood.

Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

Human cloning is outlawed because if Chuck Norris were cloned, it would be possible for a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to meet another chuck Norris roundhouse kick, and Physicists theorize that this would end the universe.

 

[FerrisBueller46]

Bruce Banner may change into the Hulk when he gets mad but when the Hulk gets mad he changes into Chuck Norris...

 

[RuiP]

Chuck Norris has two speeds: "kill" and "f*ck your girlfriend."

 

[xtremelow]

Chuck Norris is not scared of the dark the dark is scared of Chuck Norris.

 

[sledhead007]

They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody

 

[Burton]

How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb?


None. Feminists don't change anything.

 

[xtremelow]

Onions cry when Chuck Norris cuts them.

 

[beefy99]

Fact-

Chuck Norris was once told that his tears could in fact not cure cancer. His reply? He entered the BME pain olympics and won. The outcome? No tears(unfortunately), his jimmy looks better than before, and doctors are now studying him because of the real possibility of finding a drug that will actually make your dick bigger.

 

[braindead]

There is no such things as tornados chuck norris just hates trailer parks.

When girls have sex with god they scream CHUCK NORRIS!!

 

[Zeroflat24]

Chuck Norris once ate an entire bithday cake before someone told him there was a stripper inside of it.

 

[Montie92]

[up]^

 

[08levin]

Did you hear about the blonde that tried to sue car makers when they moved the high beam switch off the floor? she kept getting her foot stuck in the steering wheel.

 

[BitchinXb]

Chuck Norris uses Seafoam for mouthwash

 

[07Bolt]

Chuck Norris announced "As of 2012, bikers in Illinois will no longer have to remain at red-lights, but can drive thru them" and it was passed into law

 

[Buellaucracy]

Why are pirates called pirates?

Because they arrrrr. Lol.

 

[vtech007]

10 years ago we had Steve Jobs, Johnny Cash and Bob Hope - now we have No Jobs, No Cash and No Hope.


lol

 

[Buellaucracy]

^Thats awesome

Why do women fake orgasms?


Who cares?

 

[MAGIC]

When does Chuck Norris run out of shotgun bullets?.....whenever he wants to.

Ever wondered how you just died in Modern Warfare 3? That was Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can unscramble an egg.

When you misspell Chuck Norris on Google, it doesn't say "Did you mean Chuck Norris? ". It just says "Run,while you still can"

When Chuck Norris do the push ups, he doesn't lift himself up. He pushes Earth down.

 

[vtech007]

^Thats awesome

Why do women fake orgasms?


Who cares?

^ that's awesome too ! (although I am thankful I know I give mine real ones every time I can tell the diff' (... not braggin' 'n all, just sayin'...)

 

[BuellyBagger]

87% of Americans surveyed said they have or frequently masterbate....



The other 13% ...............


Lied!