Just dumped my girlfriend...

[upthemaiden]

as i thought losing her hurt i realized that what really hurt was losing the memories of her.

Agreed, the thing that will be tough is just the change to the comfort level. I'm going to miss coming home from work and having her there to hang out with on the couch, or getting in bed when someone else is there. Making food for 2 people, not having to go to the store to by soap and paper towels by yourself, saying you want to stay in for the night and not having it mean that you're gonna be by yourself. Just random stuff.

 

[mowgoli84]

Thing is, I think after a few years or so, it becomes a comfort thing.. a security if you know what I mean. I know after a few years in my last long one, it wasn't as much that I wanted to be with her, you just get used to the idea of being with that person.. once you get past the comfort of being with that person and start doing things on your own terms again.. you'll be good =)

 

[vospertw]

Here's my grandfatherly advice for you young 'uns (and yes, I am a grandfather). DON'T get in a serious relationship (marriage or otherwise) until you are at least 35. I know, some of you married your high school sweetheart and are still together (my in-laws were/did and are still together approaching their 70's) but... those cases are few and far between. When I entered the Marines in 1986 I thought "I'm waiting until I'm at least a major..." Two years later I was a married 1stLt. And although I have 3 very cool kids and a grandson from that union, it also cost me all of my savings (at the time), house, child support, over a quarter of my retirement forever, and I'm still fixing my credit rating. Re-married a few years ago at 42 and it's still tough... but much more manageable. Bottom line is that who you are in your 20's is not the person you will be in your 30's, much less your 40's. And that goes for her as well. Quite often (I would say most of the time), the person you are in your 30's looks at that woman now in her 30's and says "what the hell did I do?" That's just life, people change. But being a man in the United States, you need to realize that the contract part of marriage is pretty lopsided... finding out that it ain't gonna work can be expensive and have long-lasting (sometimes for the rest of your life) consequences.

Yeah, I know she's hot, cool, funny, etc. and you don't think you can live without her. Take my word for it - somewhere there is someone hotter/cooler/funnier and you CAN live without her. What you don't know yet is your criteria for what you are looking for is going to change in 20 years (I know 40 seems old, but that's just half your life, amigos). You should be doing all the cool things you want to do now - travel, ride fast, get a masters degree, learn to fly an airplane... whatever. When you finally settle down you will have a whole new set of responsibilities and to be a good father/husband, you'll have to set some of those cool things aside (but don't ever let go of everything... some of those cool things - like motorcycles - make you who you are). Don't get me wrong, being married and having a family is pretty fulfilling as well, but it's damn different than what you can get away with in your 20's... so enjoy those years because there's no going back.

Bottom line, been there, done that, made all the mistakes. Don't get married until you are 35+. I understand that might be bad advice for 10% of you, but the other 90% will thank me 20 years from now.

 

[mowgoli84]

vospertw [up][up]

 

[BuellerPilot]

[up]vospertw[up]

 

[12R_FIRE]

Glade- we all go through the tough times, but it makes you know how good it can be and how bad it can be, just gotta find the one, you'll know when you find it, aspirations and goals should be lined up, good luck in the search man.

As much as id like to take vospertw's advice, commissioning this spring in the marines, shopping for an engagement ring now... wish me luck.

 

[vospertw]

12R_FIRE... what can I say. I didn't listen to older guys back then either. Good luck with both - marriage and the Corps. I'd redo the whole 20 years at the drop of a hat if they'd let me. Saw your profile, protect that aviation contract. I started out as an 0302, then flew AV-8Bs and finished flying old-man airplanes (UC-12B/F and UC-35D) at Miramar. Working a piece of the F-35 program now - even with its problems you're going to want to fly that thing!

 

[konarider94]

Yeah, I know she's hot, cool, funny, etc. and you don't think you can live without her. Take my word for it - somewhere there is someone hotter/cooler/funnier and you CAN live without her. What you don't know yet is your criteria for what you are looking for is going to change in 20 years (I know 40 seems old, but that's just half your life, amigos). You should be doing all the cool things you want to do now - travel, ride fast, get a masters degree, learn to fly an airplane... whatever. When you finally settle down you will have a whole new set of responsibilities and to be a good father/husband, you'll have to set some of those cool things aside (but don't ever let go of everything... some of those cool things - like motorcycles - make you who you are). Don't get me wrong, being married and having a family is pretty fulfilling as well, but it's damn different than what you can get away with in your 20's... so enjoy those years because there's no going back.

Bottom line, been there, done that, made all the mistakes. Don't get married until you are 35+. I understand that might be bad advice for 10% of you, but the other 90% will thank me 20 years from now.

While I respect your opinion and experience there is no reason you cant do all of those things with a significant other. I agree they are good reasons to wait on having children. If anything i think all of those things could be enjoyed more with someone you love.

To the OP, sorry I dont have any input for you. Im in the same situation just on the other side, so Ill just read others thoughts. I can relate to how much it sucks though. Although after 3 months its easier, still sucks but its better. They say time heals all.

 

[RHYNOXB9R]

Dude,been there done that.Take some time off from all the mind games and spend some quality time doing whatever it is you love or are into,I'm sure you had a hobby or pastime you enjoyed before you met her,and like most other cats,you quite doing it when you met her,no time for both,right? Take some time off,enjoy the freedom,get your head on straight,realize what it is you want from a chick,and now knowing what you don't want from one,put it all together and take your time.It's when your are not looking for anything that you find something.I do belive that everything happens for a reason.Loseing her had a reason just as finding the next one will.Just chillaxe.

 

[Glade21]

Man, there is a TON of good stuff here, deffinatley gives me alot to think about. I told her she could come shooting with me tomorrow and talk, if not whatever, but if she does im gonna tell her how it is and how it might make our relationship stonger to be away for a while, just to smooth it out, but unless something DRASTICALLY changes I have full intentions on ending it, it just don't want there to be bad blood. Thanks for all the support guys, its a great family here. Oh and I took the advice and got the bike together and put over 100 on it today and it helped clear my mind alot, was cold though haha.

 

[RHYNOXB9R]

No offense,but if you are going through some ****,and this is for either side,guy,chick,why the hell would the other want to go shooting with the other?? I would realy have to think just why the person was asking.[confused]JK,good luck and bury the body on a private reserve land area,it's illegal for anybody to dig in the areas boundries,I'm just sayin.

 

[turbines]

I wouldn't give a pinch a **** for none of em.

When life rakes yor hide get back on and ride.

 

[Bueller814]

I just went brought the same thing same stats too. Couldn't be happier. Go ride and enjoy not having a 100 pound weight on the back of your bike.

 

[vospertw]

Glade21 - one last piece of advice... Never, EVER tell a woman "how it is" when firearms are involved...

So much to teach you guys, so little time...

 

[auslad]

plenty more fish aparently in the sea..........shitloads in Thailand............DOH!!!!

 

[anrkizm95]

there are two sides to every story and she may be saying the samething about you right now.there are two types women for you.one will lift you up and make you a better person.and one will ruin you only you can tell wich one you have.after 21 years with the same woman ive learned there are good and bad days and good and bad years. its all hard work as is anything thats really worth having.good luck to you

 

[fox8701]

I've been dating my girl for about a year & a half now, and things are sometimes rocky. I'm 23, she's 20 and still young at heart. Tells me she wants to go out and parties with her girlies (but wait till she's 21, im sure it'll be going out doubletime to the bars). Do i go out and hang out with my guy friends at the bars too, Sure do. I just remember i have a girlfriend at the end of the night to be with and not some bar ****. Do i trust her? Yes, but i am skeptical just like every boyfriend cause when your mind thinks, it just makes things worse. There are times when during small bickery fights that i just want to say eff you and move on. And sometimes i just realize her home life isn't good and she's still in her young age. But i'm happy with her and she makes me happy when we're with each other, htats what keeps me with her even though there are small differences. You have to realize everyone is the own person and you can never change who someone really is. You have to accept how someone is for who they are.

But there's that little part of you that realizes you don't want to be alone (or at least without her cause you know how it was during its good stages) but if you can, get away from it if you know whats good for you. Like others say (once a cheater always a cheater) not so much for this case but same principle goes for you. If your not happy most likely you won't be. There are plenty of other girls out there, and don't spend your time at the juice bars and wasting your money on the bar hook-up types, cause they'll only leave you with an empty wallet at the end of the night. Been there done that.

Best advice like everyone else says here. Relationships aren't peaches and creme. Its never smooth sailing, and if your heart says you can work things out, it will. Always rememebr if you let someone go, LET HER COME BACK TO YOU IN THE FUTURE. PLAY HARDBALL. It'll either make her or break her. Its hard with all these social websites like facebook. But you got balls, be tough show her what its LIKE WITHOUT YOU!! If you feel she's changed then maybe its worth giving another shot, BUT NEVER let a woman get the better side of you. There's nothing a girl hates worse (if she really loves you deep inside) is seeing you having fun with someone else.

So no matter what you do, whether you decide to stay on the gravel road with her and wait for a paved road and hope your relationship with her gets better to where you want to be OR you take the highway and forget about her and find someone more compatible, just ALWAYS DO WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY! You can't rewind the clock and turn time back. Do what puts a smile on your face at the end of the day. Sitting on a rock gets you nowhere but where your at now.

 

[bxbhighspl]

Did she get road rash when she fell off the back? Hope she was wearing her gear.




Oooooooooooohhhhhhhhh. You broke up with her.

 

[redrider]

Wow... I thought I logged on to the Buell Forum..
Not Oprah.Com